Men’s Mental Health Month

A Raw Reflection from a Neurodivergent Man Who’s Been in the Fight Too Long

We’ve all heard it:

“Mental health is real.”

And yes, it is.

But somewhere along the line, it’s become more of a buzzword than a belief. A trending hashtag. A commercial slogan. During Men’s Mental Health Month, we see it quickly overshadowed by graduations, Father’s Day, Pride, and other events. While all are important, the month that’s meant to prioritize our mental health quietly slips into the background.

And if you’re a man like me, especially a neurodivergent one who’s battled mental illness for entire his life, it can feel like just another reminder that your internal war isn’t even worth public attention.

The Weight of Manhood

Let’s be real for a second.

As men, we’re taught, explicitly and silently, that our worth is tied to what we provide. We are not seen as human beings with emotions. We are expected to be providers, protectors, and pillars of strength. But what happens when the pillar cracks? What happens when we say:

“I’m not okay.” fyi I’ve said it many times and nothing was the result. 

For many of us, that honesty is weaponized. The moment we expose a wound, someone we trusted uses it to cut deeper. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, or even a family member, that betrayal of vulnerability sticks with us. And if it happens once, just once, most of us decide we’ll never open up again. Not fully.

That silence? It starts in childhood.

If you weren’t the “tough boy” or didn’t meet society’s cookie cutter expectations of masculinity, chances are, you were overlooked. Told to man up. Told to stop crying. Told to stop being dramatic. And so the idea that we’re only praised when we provide becomes our truth.

This conversation is overdue. But sadly, it’s still lightyears away from being genuinely heard.

The Broken System

Let’s not ignore the system either. Back then, the “solution” was meds. Today, it’s still meds. Go to the doctor. Say a few trigger words. Get a prescription. Sent on your way. If you dare speak of the real dark thoughts, the ones that don’t fit neatly into a box, you might get labeled, locked up, or worse.

Speak your truth, and you’re called unstable.

Speak too much, and you’re “crazy.”

Stay silent, and you’re “emotionally unavailable.”

As someone who’s been through that cycle more times than I care to admit, I have a complicated relationship with medicine. I’ve been medicated to the point where the meds themselves felt like trauma. So now? I don’t even like taking Tylenol.

So what do we do?

We fight the hardest battle of all, the one with ourselves. Pretending to be “normal.” Wearing masks. Smiling when we’re dying inside. And we do it silently, every day.

What Can Be Done?

For those who love, raise, or interact with boys and men, here are some suggestions. These aren’t fixes, because healing isn’t one size fits all. But they’re a place to start.

1. Stop Making Men Feel Like an Asset.

Men are not just providers. Yes, many of us are natural protectors and leaders, but that doesn’t mean we should be reduced to just that. We are human first.

2. Talk to Him, About Things He Loves.

Not everything has to be heavy. Sometimes, connection starts with a conversation about music, food, games, cars, art, whatever lights him up.

3. Let Him Sit in Silence Without Making It About You.

If he says he doesn’t want to talk, respect that. Don’t push. Don’t assume he’s angry at you. Just let him know you’re there when he’s ready, and then be there. “And actually mean it” if not just dont. 

4. Show Appreciation Randomly.

Don’t wait for birthdays or Father’s Day to give a compliment or a thank you. A simple, “I appreciate you,” goes a long way. A small act of kindness, even a favorite snack, can shift an entire day. “You know the things you want done to you” 

5. Normalize Emotions for Boys, Especially From Other Men.

This one’s critical. Boys need to see grown men cry, talk about feelings, and model what healthy emotional expression looks like.

6. Avoid Weaponizing Vulnerability.

If a man opens up to you, about anything, honor it. Do not throw it back in his face later during a disagreement. That one betrayal is enough to shut him down for life.

7. Encourage Therapy, But Don’t Force It.

Therapy isn’t a magic fix, and for some, it takes time to find the right person. Support his journey, even if it means trying multiple routes like group support, art therapy, journaling, or simply walking in silence.

8. Speak Life Into Him.

Words matter. The world can be brutal. Let your words be the place he can rest. Tell him he’s doing a good job. That you see him. That he matters. “Trust me this is the superpower, hence why weaponizing the opposite a possible life long shut down” 

9. Let Him Relearn Who He Is Outside of His Roles.

Allow space for discovery beyond being a worker, dad, husband, or son. Ask: “What makes you happy?”, and mean it.

10. Understand That Healing is Nonlinear.

There will be good days and hard days. Let both exist without guilt tripping, rushing, or comparing his journey to yours or someone else’s.

Final Thoughts

I’m not here to give you all the answers. I’m still figuring it out myself.
But if you’re a man struggling right now, I want you to know this:

You’re not broken.
You’re not weak.
You’re not alone.

“Yes, YOU can cry.”

And if you love a man, don’t wait until he’s in crisis to care about his mental health. Care now. Speak now. Love now.

We can rewrite the human code. But it starts with you. With me. With us.

Hope this helps,