You ever notice how the more you start being yourself, the fewer people you see around you? It’s like the moment you stop performing and start showing up as the real you, everyone suddenly remembers they left the oven on.
And honestly… good.
See, nobody tells you this part when they say, “Just be yourself.” They forget to mention that being yourself might cost you your seat at a few tables. You might not get invited to certain conversations anymore. You might even have to eat lunch alone sometimes. But here’s the thing, when you finally start showing up as the person you actually are, the people who were only there for your performance tend to disappear.
And that’s exactly how you make room for the people who are there for you.
I’ve always been myself. Never been the type to switch up, never been the type to force a fit. If I didn’t want to be somewhere, I wasn’t there. If I didn’t agree, I said it. That’s never been a struggle for me. But even with that level of certainty, I noticed something over time…the circle started getting smaller.
And at first, I thought maybe it was just life, people growing apart, that sort of thing. But then I realized it was something else. When I didn’t speak first, the conversation didn’t happen, the phone stopped ringing. When I didn’t initiate, the friendship went quiet. That told me everything I needed to know.
It showed me who saw me as a friend and who saw me as competition. It showed me who was comfortable in my presence and who felt small standing next to it.
And because I know this, I don’t reassure anyone. That’s never been my thing. I take it as a sign that they were never meant to stay. Let them part ways on their own…that’s just life making room for the ones who are on the same frequency.
See, authenticity isn’t about saying “yes” or “no” in the right moments, it’s about not needing to explain yourself when you do. It’s about moving with a certain peace, knowing that anyone who mistakes your confidence for arrogance, or your silence for distance, was never really trying to understand you anyway.
It can get quiet, yeah. But peace has its own rhythm. You just have to be still long enough to hear it.
People often confuse solitude with loneliness, but they’re not the same. Solitude is when you’re finally comfortable with your own presence. When you don’t need to fill the silence because you are the sound. That’s when you start attracting the people and opportunities that match who you really are.
Because the truth is, when you’re authentic, the things meant for you start finding you with ease. You don’t chase.
“You align”
So yeah, the price of authenticity is loneliness…at first. But that loneliness turns into clarity. That clarity turns into peace. And that peace? That’s something most people never find because they’re too busy trying to be understood by the wrong crowd.
I don’t chase friendships. I don’t beg for understanding. I don’t shrink for comfort. The ones meant to stand beside me will never need to be convinced…they’ll already be walking in the same direction.
Because the real reward for being authentic isn’t attention. It’s freedom.
Hope this helps,
-B
Leave a Reply