Without you there is no me.
“WITHOUT YOU THERE’S NO ME”
Genes are wild. Growing up, I did not even believe they were real. I could not understand how one human could look like another, how traits could be passed down, how trauma, strength, softness, and resilience could travel through blood and time. I did not understand how a life could leave fingerprints on another life before it even begins. Now I understand. Or at least I am learning. Every single day I learn more about you, about your story, about your strength, and about how much of you lives inside of me.
It is empowering. It is uplifting. It is humbling. It is even a little enviable in the best and most loving way. My one fourteen, I am one of your six. Your baby boy. And sometimes I still feel like the only boy, still a child on the inside, just wearing the appearance of a grown man. I do not remember the first moment my eyes found you, but I know this much. I have never stopped looking at you since.
From the memories I carry as a child to every moment I am blessed to share with you now, even when we are simply sharing space or silence, every second matters. Your presence heals me. Just being near you restores parts of me I did not even know were broken. There is something powerful about you. Something unexplainable. A quiet strength that fills a room. Sometimes I wonder if you know how powerful you are, because it always feels like you activate that power at exactly the moment it is needed most.
I could not think of a gift worthy enough to buy you in a world that already feels chaotic and loud. Nothing felt like enough. So instead, I chose to give you something that cannot be purchased. A reflection. A mirror of who you are and what you mean to me. There are not enough words in the dictionary to truly capture it, so I will try to keep it simple, even though my heart wants to spill endlessly.
If I had to describe my one fourteen with one word, it would be selfless.
One phrase would be, somehow she made it happen.
One feeling would be pure.
One action would be perseverance.
I know you do not always like to be reminded of your journey, but it is one that deserves to be written down and remembered. It belongs in the history books of our family. You broke generational patterns. You carried weight that was never meant for one person alone. You fought through obstacles that would have broken others. You jumped hurdles without knowing what waited on the other side. I have seen you laugh. I have seen you cry. I have seen you keep going when stopping would have been easier. I have also seen you walk through fire when you did not know I was watching. And I was always watching.
I am so proud of you, Mom. More than words can say. And my only true goal in this life is not success, not money, not recognition. It is to make sure you are proud of yourself. To make sure you see yourself the way I see you.
Happy birthday, my queen.
My one fourteen.
My lifeline.
I love you more than I love myself. And that is saying a whole lot.
Leave a Reply