Some mornings I wake up and it feels like the day is already written for me. The phone buzzing, emails stacking up, the calendar screaming at me with blocks of time that are already spoken for. And if I’m not careful, I start moving like a passenger in my own life, letting everything else tell me where I’m supposed to be, what I’m supposed to feel, and how I’m supposed to move.
But here’s the truth I have to remind myself of…and maybe you do too: I have free will. You do too. Not just in the big life altering decisions but in the small, quiet ones that don’t always look like they matter but eventually stack up and shape who we become.
We forget that sometimes. We start thinking our jobs, our relationships, our bank accounts, or even our past choices hold the pen to the story. But that’s not how it works. They’re all factors, sure. They influence the rhythm. But the direction? That’s still yours.
Free will is in the little things
When people talk about free will, they make it sound heavy, like it only applies when you’re standing at some crossroads in life. Do I quit the job or stay? Do I move to that city or not? Do I marry this person or walk away?
Those are big choices, yes, but they’re rare. Most of our free will shows up in the smallest decisions of the day.
Do I scroll or do I create? Do I call someone back or ignore the call? Do I stay quiet or do I speak up? Do I let a bad moment ruin the rest of my day, or do I breathe and keep it moving?
That’s free will. It’s not flashy. It’s not always dramatic. It’s often silent and invisible to everyone else. But it matters.
The illusion of “no choice”
One of the easiest lies to believe is that we “have no choice.” That’s the line we use when we’ve already made up our minds to settle. “I have to stay at this job.” “I have to keep the peace in this relationship.” “I have to keep doing what I’ve always done.”
The truth? You don’t have to do anything. Every “have to” you tell yourself is just a choice you don’t want to face. Staying is a choice. Leaving is a choice. Silence is a choice. Resistance is a choice.
Even choosing not to choose…that’s still you exercising free will. That’s still a decision, even if it feels safer to call it “circumstance.”
Free will doesn’t mean free from consequences
Here’s where people get tripped up. Free will doesn’t mean everything is fair. It doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want and skip away without facing the music. Every choice plants a seed, and seeds grow into something whether you want them to or not.
But I’d rather live with the weight of consequences from my own choices than carry the regret of letting life make the decisions for me. At least when it’s my choice, the story is still mine.
The everyday practice of remembering
I think “remembering” is the real work. Not discovering, not learning…just remembering. Because deep down we know. We know we have the power to decide, to pivot, to say yes, to say no. But we forget.
So I’ve built little reminders into my day:
- When I wake up, I ask myself: What’s one thing I can choose today that makes me proud tonight?
- When I feel like I’m being pulled in ten different directions, I stop and say out loud: No, I get to decide how this goes.
- When I feel powerless, I remind myself that even my attitude is a choice.
Today and every day
You have free will. Even if your circumstances feel tight. Even if the options in front of you aren’t the ones you hoped for. Even if life has dealt you a hand you wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Your power is in how you play it.
Your freedom is in the next choice you make.
And the beauty of free will? You don’t need anyone’s permission to use it.
So today and every day, remember…you get to choose
Hope this helps,
-B
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