The Year of the Horse symbolizes momentum, courage, and action.
For me, It represents movement, not the kind where you wait for clarity to arrive, but the kind where clarity is created through motion. It speaks to action rooted in intention, trusting instinct, and making bold choices even when the outcome is uncertain. The themes are simple but heavy. Courage. Freedom. Strength. Honoring your journey exactly as it is.
I sit with those ideas and I carry them. I believe them. But belief alone does not pull you out of a rut.
If I am being honest, the momentum has not been where it needs to be. At least not in the areas that matter most. The confusing part is that the momentum exists, just not where it pays the bills. It shows up where I want it to, creatively and emotionally, but not where it creates freedom. And when money is tied to freedom, pressure follows quickly. That pressure has a way of locking you in place.
I will unpack that later with my imaginary therapist.
The truth is, I never stop moving. I am always creating, always thinking, always building something in my head, and with my hands. Another trip around the sun forces reflection. The mistakes. The dumb choices. The lows. The highs. The version of myself I want to leave behind and the person I will to be tomorrow.
Life feels like a never ending game of Tetris. Decisions fall every second and you have to place them before the next one arrives. Stack them wrong and the screen fills fast. Add emotions from everyone around you, including your own, and it becomes overwhelming on a daily basis.
Parenting teenagers adds another layer. The attitudes test my patience and sometimes my masculinity. Caring deeply about my children’s feelings can feel like a contradiction in a world that expects toughness to look a certain way. Still, I choose communication.
I choose to speak to my children like they are human. I choose to apologize when I am wrong. I choose affection, even when it is difficult for me to extend it beyond them. That has always been my number one priority.
Action has been both my lifeline and my downfall lately. Good action keeps me alive. Bad action drains me. Certain events in my personal life froze me emotionally, others physically, yet I’m circulating all over the world through cities and time zones. I am everywhere and nowhere at once. It is hard to explain and I am not sure I want it understood. Vulnerability for me looks like writing this and pressing publish. That is enough.
I have noticed a pattern in my writing lately. It lives between midnight and three in the morning. My mind is loudest when the world is quiet. Recently I caught myself thinking, I work while you sleep and explore the world while you work. That thought came from noticing how late I have been at HQ, knocking things out, slowly rebuilding momentum. Fighting through pain with art, ideas, and real connection.
It feels like a fort I built out of emotion. I sell pieces of it, release the rest, and keep rebuilding. My thoughts are scattered right now and my heart keeps circling back to my boys. Some days it feels like they are speaking to me through memory and imagination. Whenever there’s a blank space within the day, I daydream about them opening the door, running towards me with a huge smile on their faces. I laugh at myself because my mind can travel far. Some days I feel strong again, almost normal. Then I look in the mirror and realize the person staring back will never be the same. And maybe that is not a bad thing.
Alright Justin, Let me land this.
Say this with me.
In 2026, I will have the courage to dive headfirst into everything I hesitate about.
I will have the freedom to choose what my heart desires without question or delay.
I will have the strength to push myself, to show up for myself, to make it one more day.
I will honor my journey and remember that this is not a race.
Hope this helps. Thanks for listening.
-B
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